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It’s 3am. The birds are making noise outside, and they’re keeping me awake and thinking.


The old windows of this ’60 building cracking slowly when the wind blows and in the night make the wind like a storm.


The old lady living on my floor are for sure awake.


I hear the water from her kitchen, and probably she is giving some water to her plants.
She always has a problem to sleep, and I’m not surprise considering she is almost 85.


On the same floor, there is another old woman. Every day someone comes to bring food to her and to clean her house. In two years, I saw her just once for a few seconds.
This week I’m gonna fly to my favourite destination on the Alps, and I’m nervous about it.
Last time I been there was around 8 years ago.


So many things have changed in my life, and I’m awake at 3am listening to the birds and thinking about how to cut short my last 8 years to everyone I will meet there.
I don’t have an idea if everyone is alive there.


A lot of those people was already quite old and the pandemic of a few months ago took away so many of them in those areas. So I don’t have an idea what has been on there.
No one of them in my Facebook friend and to be honest, I don’t remember one single name of them.


Maybe is this that keep me awake and not the birds.


I always try to read too deeply into things when I should just turn my head and go to sleep again.
I may have lost track of time, but now the sound of birds is interrupted by a clear sound coming from a car.


I’m thinking, “who is this person who lives in my building and is listening to Leonard Cohen at dawn?
Maybe is just a DJ on the radio but, again, which radio is so refreshing to play “Waiting for the miracle” so early?


“I dreamed about you, babe. It was just the other night. Most of you were naked,

Leonard sing with his deep voice and I should dream the same things instead of old people “somewhere in the Alps”.


I was looking at this trip for years. Finally, I have booked a room at my favourite hotel in the middle of the clouds.


The last few years I have been just in towns, visiting capitals and famous locations but this 2020 is different.


When I get back, I’m gonna take the time to organise a trip to some big town. Still, this time I won’t continue my “lockdown” time with my woman and one book I’m looking forward to finishing.


I once worked at a restaurant, to be honest, was my restaurant and I remember the stress it gave me almost every day.


I don’t get why every time I have escaped from the stress of my business to be in the middle of millions of people.


Maybe it was a way to cover me, but the “lockdown” experience change myself.


Well, it’s very late or early, depending on how you think could be 5am from your point of view.


I should turn my face and sleep, but I feel I want a coffee, so I woke up, went the toilet for few minutes and start to make my espresso with my trustable “Moka‘.


As long still morning, and I gust still morning if the big clock in the kitchen show to me “5.12”, I liked to sit on the chair next to the window, it’s beautiful, soft and a gentle wind come from the window.


Though we are imperfect, though we are human and yes, we are so easy to be happy when an excellent coffee touches your palate, and you forgot what have you woke up. You see just you woman face in your mind, and you start to think how much you love her.


The day could finally start.



Massimo Usai

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